Anti-guilty pleasures

I'm loving this article on music Entertainment Weekly editors hate even though everybody else loves it. I'm feeling so bonded with these people right now.

On my list: Kanye West, Nickelback and the Rolling Stones. Sorry!

Stephen Hawking is making me upset

My husband is watching some special he Tivoed on Stephen Hawking. All talking about the big bang and black holes. The end of the universe. Time stopping. Millions of miles of space or time (or something) being sucked into an infinitely small particle. Does this make anyone else feel like barfing?

Why doesn't this upset my husband? He just keeps telling me that we won't be around for it to happen, why should we worry? The sun shouldn't explode for 5 billion years. But won't people be on earth. How horrifying would that be? What a horrible death. I don't even want to think about it. I had to put my iPod on, it's bothers me so much. And it's not helping my Nanowrimo story.

It's dark out already

OK, maybe not yet. It's only 9:45am. But by 5pm, I'll be walking around in the dark. I hate the end of daylight savings time.
And why am I blogging at 9:45am? Because, of course, I forgot to change my clock last night. So I'm up, worrying about Nanowrimo. Each year that I've written, I've gotten antsy like this right about now. Who are my characters? What are they doing? I have no idea. This year, all I have is a setting. Great.
Speaking of, one of my friends keeps pronouncing it Na-NOW-ree-MOW. She makes it sound like a Hawaiian island. It's hilarious.
Things I'm thinking about right now:

- I'm going to the Nanowrimo kickoff party this afternoon. I hope the weirdos stay away.

- I'm traveling to Europe in January. What's that flight going to be like? I've never been overseas before. And when I say that to people, it's like I'm telling them that I have a third eye. Never been to Europe. I'm not the last one.

- Halloween. We have to win this year's contest with this idea. Corpse bride and the corpse bridal party. We're having a mini wedding reception at work. Nothing will get done all day. Sweet. Here's a photo of my practice run with the makeup.

- I'm not a shopper, but lately I've been having serious shopping pangs. So does pre-Halloween Christmas advertising have an effect? Yes, I believe so.

- Shopping pangs lead to my obvious weakness for bags. Purses, totes, anything. Is there a 12-step group for this problem? Damn you, Vera Bradley! Maybe I'm thinking that if I buy an overnight duffle I'll become the kind of person that takes weekend trips to B&Bs in rustic New England. Or not.

Great Typos

It's an oxymoron, I know. I'm not perfect, but these have gone out, either to PR lists or whatever. Hire a proofreader! I’ve actually seen these in the last few months:

In a headline: The Roomers Are True…

In an online signup form: Please separate e-mail addresses with a coma.

In an internal e-mail: We apologize for any incontinence this may cause.

Honestly. It's like these people are trying to give me a heart attack.

Careening

Do you ever feel like your life is careening out of control?

Testosterone Kills Brain Cells

Aaah, it all makes sense now. Testosterone kills brain cells.

This blog needs a love triangle.

I was just over at the Grey's Anatomy's Writer's Blog, and in just the latest post there were more than 500 comments. Everybody's arguing about Mer and Der and hitting the pause button.

Unfortunately (actually, not unfortunately at all) I'm happily married, so none of that. Well, I am having a thing right now with my macaroni and cheese. McCheesy. Does that do anything for you?

So in the mean time, here's a photo from my last trip to entertain you.

Taking Annapolis by storm...and free food

I'm in Annapolis, Maryland, for work. Is it wrong that I'm so looking forward to this free steak dinner? That's what thousands of dollars of waterproofing will do to you.

Did you know that fall is the best time to plant, especially in the northern United States? With fall rains and cooler temps, plants have a chance to establish better than in the scorching heat of summer. FYI. I'll post some of the (what I'm sure will be) great images from my trip later this week.

News brief -- Nicole Kidman is nice!

You know it's a sad state of affairs for Hollywood when a celebrity being nice becomes a headline. Nicole Kidman isn't a diva. Who knew?

And maybe more importantly, why does this fall under the news category at all? I love movies, but I'm not sure I care if Jane Fonda thinks Lindsay Lohan is a spoiled brat. Because isn't that for each of us to decide on our own? *eyerolls*

Remembering

Nanowrimo....to write or not to write?

So I've done Nanowrimo for the last three years. It's fantastic. I don't think there's another place where you can get feedback and support from so many writers. Sallyacious is doing it.

My problem is I'm feeling burned out from work. Write all day and then come home and write some more. I think I'll feel better once next week is over, but until then, Nanowrimo sounds like agony. I'm sure around October 29 I'll be foaming at the mouth, ready for the challenge, but not so much today. And the worst part is I've been pushing all my colleagues to join me in writing.

Plus, I had a plot, but it's feeling shaky right about now. Who else out there is doing Nanowrimo? Do you have any plot/outlining pulled together yet?

Katie Couric's not all that interesting

Yeah, I watched the CBS Nightly News tonight, but I didn't think Katie Couric was the one to see. I really liked hearing Morgan (Super Size Me) Spurlock talking about the opposite of red states and blue states: purple America.

Truth is, most of us don't live on the extreme ends they like to portray, the majority of us are camped out here in the middle. But nobody wants to hear what we have to say because we don’t foam at the mouth, call your mama names or say anything that’s gonna juice the ratings.

To read his whole essay, click here. Don't lie. You agree.

Emmy recap

Even though I wouldn’t really call myself a fan of Dick Clark, it was nice to see him and a rundown of all that he’s accomplished. And I even enjoyed hearing Barry Manilow (I’ve NEVER said that) play the “American Bandstand” theme.

Geez, Jaclyn Smith is still gorgeous. Even more gorgeous than when she was on Charlie’s Angels.

And TONY SHALOUB??? C’mon people. Even the audience at the Emmys gasped when that happened. Steve Carrell should file a police report, because he was robbed.

And I love Blythe Danner, but again, c’mon. Have these people watched even a minute of Jean Smart’s performance on “24?” It’s a crime that she didn’t win. At least they got the Best Comedy and Best Drama right.

Holy frick

Who let this guy anywhere near a computer? I'd hate to be his inbox, with all the hate mail he's gonna get. And this is a rehashing of his "marry a pretty girl" column. Forbes let this guy into his magazine twice.

I may do a little research on this. Stay tuned.

A bigger jerk?

Is there a bigger jerk in the world than Ray Nagin? My God, we're just getting over his chocolate comments and then he says this?

Selecting the blog title

I also have a blog on my magazine's Web site. The problem is I'm getting my own, individual blog (it used to be a group one) and I need to come up with a title for it. My mind is completely blank.

Well, actually the fine nuggets of brilliance I've come up with so far are "Crap From My Brain" and "General Musings." What, and I haven't won a Pulitzer yet with that kind of inspired writing, you say?

This blog is just a mishmash of whatever I'm thinking about, so there isn't really a subject it focuses on. Well, I mean other than my magazine's subject, which is gardening. Any ideas from my vast network of readers?

Water – I hate it

So about three months ago, my husband noticed some water dripping down a wall in our basement. I figured it was nothing, didn’t think twice about it, but he said he’d have a guy he knows take a look. Whatever.

The guy comes over and says this isn’t just a leaky pipe. It’s digging time – one wall of our house needed to be waterproofed. Sweet. $6,000 I’ll never see again. Does the fun end there? No.

These guys have dug half way to China and once they hit bottom, they noticed that all the pipes from anywhere near our house to the storm sewer are completely jammed up with tree roots and dirt. How much is that going to cost? More than our whole wedding. More than the value of my car, almost by two. About half what my aunt and uncle paid for their house back in the early eighties.

Anybody need some freelance editing work done?

Might as well have been a cliff he'd jumped off

I'm glad that Paramount Pictures cut ties with Tom Cruise. I've had enough of that lunatic. It's about time that people's actions have consequences.

Puppy -- did that get your attention?

She's officially ours. A beagle mix, 6.8 pounds at her first vet visit.

She's only this sweet and good about 10 percent of the time we're home and with her. The rest of the time it's all biting, peeing, pooping and trying to get out of whatever crate/pen we have her in.

She's a lot better now than she was the first week we had her, though. Now she only cries for a couple of minutes when it's time to go to bed at night. The first couple of nights, she was up and howling for an hour.

Set the puppies free!

You know, this is very simple. All we want is a dog. A puppy. We're looking for a puggle. Yes, it is a popular dog right now. No, they haven't been hard to find. What's been hard to find is a reputable breeder that will call us back. Are you people allergic to making money? Here we are, waving around a wad of hundred dollars bills, ready to hand it over to the first person that will hand us a dog, and we can't get one taker. What is the deal?

Several breeders won't return our calls. We're trying to eliminate those that look sketchy, but they're all starting to look sketchy. One has reviews on its Web site that are clearly fake. Most are sending us these weird emails that read like ransom notes. The puppies are being held hostage!

Puggles, are you out there? Any of you want to live with us?

Looks like we'll have a new family member

I've been resisting for a long time, but it looks like we're on our way -- to getting a puppy. My last adventure with a pet was interesting. Our dog had diabetes, with all the fun of insulin shots, doctor's appointments, late-night walks and finally having to put her down. That was all over more than two years ago.

My husband has wanted a dog for as long as we've been married and I just realized this week how much it was bumming him out not to have one. So I've given in. I'm a fantastic wife. I'm understanding and aware of his feelings.

So our swingin' bachelor lifestyle is over. Somebody's got to be home. One of his major arguments is that it will be good for us to gain this responsibility. I guess that's true.

We're looking at puggles. Apparently they have short hair, are good with kids and about medium size. Any thoughts?

Ready To Jump

Tell me if it's just me. At your job, do you have that one guy that can't do anything right? That just fucks up everything he touches? And he comes in two hours late too many days, putzes around on the Internet half the day and then tries to set forth actual reasons why he can't get his work done ("I'm really getting slammed today. Bad day. I guess I'll have to work late tonight.") And somehow he keeps his job. Do you work with that guy? Are you that guy?

Because if that guy is at every company, I'm not even going to bother looking for another (good) job. I'm just going to look for more music on iTunes to block him out and a good anger-management therapist. There has got to be one company, somewhere in this country, where that guy doesn't work. That guy didn't work at my company until 10 months ago. I was safe. Now that's all crashed down around me. Anybody?

Where do people go?

I think my grandmother’s had a near-death experience.

She’s been sick on and off for more than a year. She had lung surgery to remove some cancer and has been in and out of the hospital since then. This time last week, a doctor was telling us to make sure her affairs were in order and she was laying in intensive care, tubes coming in and out of too many places to count.

And all of the sudden, she was fine. Yesterday, she talked to me (at me is more accurate) for an hour. But what she said was incredible.

First of all, she didn’t have that sick person, hollow look in her eyes. She was in there again, in her own head. And she told me that she talked to God a lot that week, to her dead brothers and mother. And then she told me everything that she owned that she wanted me to have when she does die. Where her will and last testament are. And that in general that she wants just a little more time with all of us. Even my brother, who she admitted she never got along with as well as the rest of us. But she loves us all, she said between huge, streaky tears.

It was seriously the longest talk I’ve had with her since I got married three years ago. Where do people go sometimes, and how do they come back at the snap of their fingers like that?

Aw, c'mon

John Krasinski. He's just hot.

Good news day

This is my most favorite news story of all time.

I was once at a trade show talking to a client and had to scream to be heard over the screeching cheerleaders in the next booth. Pom-poms and everything. Get a life and a real job.

Performance Appraisal

So you’ve had a performance appraisal at work, right? Where you talk about your job, your boss tells you what your goals should be for the next year. Sometimes you get a raise or promotion. Pretty painless, right?

Did your boss ever break down in tears during yours?

Oh, I’m so lucky. She burst into tears because she's stressed out, I’m mean, I tell the truth and I expect more from my co-workers than they’re giving. It brought out the cold in me. I just sat there until she pulled herself together. I can have no compassion. I’m tired of having to see things from her point of view when she could care less about what’s going on in my head.

Babies are everywhere

My manager is having a baby this weekend. My other co-worker is thinking about it. On the Internet, Sarcastic Journalist (www.shenuts.com) popped this week. What's in the water? Maybe I should switch to Pepsi.

How are you supposed to raise a baby these days? My manager has six weeks of maternity leave and then will be returning to work part time. That's barely enough time to introduce yourself and, of course, she'll be losing her seniority at the company by going part time. Her husband doesn't get any time off work. He'll be using his vacation days. Are companies trying to discourage people from having kids?

The creepiest part of this whole thing is that I get a promotion because she's leaving. Could I have any more mixed feelings? I've been studying and shadowing her for about a month now so that I'd be ready when her time came. Her last day was Thursday. When I started taking over stuff on Friday, I was getting a lot of, "Geez, her body's not even cold yet!" Yeah, I couldn't see that coming.

The main question here is why do I have to give up everything that I've worked so hard for if I get pregnant? Or why do I have to become a stranger to my kid if I want to keep my job? Let's just hope I'm totally sick of my job when I get pregnant.