It’s a miracle that children get named at all these days. A co-worker recently revealed that her birth name was Baby, only because her parents couldn’t decide on a name before they left the hospital. The first name on her birth certificate is indeed Baby.
So many names get eliminated right off the bat. Close relatives should be the first to be eliminated, to avoid offending anyone or a lifetime of confusion at family reunions.
Next, immediate co-workers. We all love our co-workers, but you can’t have any of these people thinking that you’ve named your child after them. Depending on the size of the company you work for, this can be the biggest challenge of all.
Maybe most importantly, all significant others’ names must be excluded. Just the sound of those names can conjure up rage in even the most forgiving. You really should try to spare your children the sight of you foaming at the mouth and snarling at them as you call them down for Sunday morning breakfast.
Of course, you must also eliminate the names of your grade-school nemesis, your high school principal, your freaky freshman year college roommate, and the guy that sold you your car. No wonder there are kids (or at least one kid) out there named Apple.
A name, after all, isn’t just a name. There is an aura around a name and no matter what anyone tells you or what you try to make yourself believe, there is something sacred about a name. There is karma involved. You are what people call you. And whether you’re an Emma or Eleanor, Ryan or Walter, just think about what your parents went through to give you your title in life.
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