Saturday, March 24, 2007
No, I'm not bitter.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Monday, November 06, 2006
On my list: Kanye West, Nickelback and the Rolling Stones. Sorry!
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Why doesn't this upset my husband? He just keeps telling me that we won't be around for it to happen, why should we worry? The sun shouldn't explode for 5 billion years. But won't people be on earth. How horrifying would that be? What a horrible death. I don't even want to think about it. I had to put my iPod on, it's bothers me so much. And it's not helping my Nanowrimo story.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
And why am I blogging at 9:45am? Because, of course, I forgot to change my clock last night. So I'm up, worrying about Nanowrimo. Each year that I've written, I've gotten antsy like this right about now. Who are my characters? What are they doing? I have no idea. This year, all I have is a setting. Great.
Speaking of, one of my friends keeps pronouncing it Na-NOW-ree-MOW. She makes it sound like a Hawaiian island. It's hilarious.
Things I'm thinking about right now:
- I'm going to the Nanowrimo kickoff party this afternoon. I hope the weirdos stay away.
- I'm traveling to Europe in January. What's that flight going to be like? I've never been overseas before. And when I say that to people, it's like I'm telling them that I have a third eye. Never been to Europe. I'm not the last one.
- Halloween. We have to win this year's contest with this idea. Corpse bride and the corpse bridal party. We're having a mini wedding reception at work. Nothing will get done all day. Sweet. Here's a photo of my practice run with the makeup.
- I'm not a shopper, but lately I've been having serious shopping pangs. So does pre-Halloween Christmas advertising have an effect? Yes, I believe so.
- Shopping pangs lead to my obvious weakness for bags. Purses, totes, anything. Is there a 12-step group for this problem? Damn you, Vera Bradley! Maybe I'm thinking that if I buy an overnight duffle I'll become the kind of person that takes weekend trips to B&Bs in rustic New England. Or not.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
In a headline: The Roomers Are True…
In an online signup form: Please separate e-mail addresses with a coma.
In an internal e-mail: We apologize for any incontinence this may cause.
Honestly. It's like these people are trying to give me a heart attack.
Friday, September 29, 2006
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Unfortunately (actually, not unfortunately at all) I'm happily married, so none of that. Well, I am having a thing right now with my macaroni and cheese. McCheesy. Does that do anything for you?
So in the mean time, here's a photo from my last trip to entertain you.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Did you know that fall is the best time to plant, especially in the northern United States? With fall rains and cooler temps, plants have a chance to establish better than in the scorching heat of summer. FYI. I'll post some of the (what I'm sure will be) great images from my trip later this week.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
And maybe more importantly, why does this fall under the news category at all? I love movies, but I'm not sure I care if Jane Fonda thinks Lindsay Lohan is a spoiled brat. Because isn't that for each of us to decide on our own? *eyerolls*
Monday, September 11, 2006
My problem is I'm feeling burned out from work. Write all day and then come home and write some more. I think I'll feel better once next week is over, but until then, Nanowrimo sounds like agony. I'm sure around October 29 I'll be foaming at the mouth, ready for the challenge, but not so much today. And the worst part is I've been pushing all my colleagues to join me in writing.
Plus, I had a plot, but it's feeling shaky right about now. Who else out there is doing Nanowrimo? Do you have any plot/outlining pulled together yet?
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Truth is, most of us don't live on the extreme ends they like to portray, the majority of us are camped out here in the middle. But nobody wants to hear what we have to say because we don’t foam at the mouth, call your mama names or say anything that’s gonna juice the ratings.
To read his whole essay, click here. Don't lie. You agree.
Monday, August 28, 2006
Even though I wouldn’t really call myself a fan of Dick Clark, it was nice to see him and a rundown of all that he’s accomplished. And I even enjoyed hearing Barry Manilow (I’ve NEVER said that) play the “American Bandstand” theme.
Geez, Jaclyn Smith is still gorgeous. Even more gorgeous than when she was on Charlie’s Angels.
And TONY SHALOUB??? C’mon people. Even the audience at the Emmys gasped when that happened. Steve Carrell should file a police report, because he was robbed.
And I love Blythe Danner, but again, c’mon. Have these people watched even a minute of Jean Smart’s performance on “24?” It’s a crime that she didn’t win. At least they got the Best Comedy and Best Drama right.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
I may do a little research on this. Stay tuned.
Friday, August 25, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Well, actually the fine nuggets of brilliance I've come up with so far are "Crap From My Brain" and "General Musings." What, and I haven't won a Pulitzer yet with that kind of inspired writing, you say?
This blog is just a mishmash of whatever I'm thinking about, so there isn't really a subject it focuses on. Well, I mean other than my magazine's subject, which is gardening. Any ideas from my vast network of readers?
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
So about three months ago, my husband noticed some water dripping down a wall in our basement. I figured it was nothing, didn’t think twice about it, but he said he’d have a guy he knows take a look. Whatever.
The guy comes over and says this isn’t just a leaky pipe. It’s digging time – one wall of our house needed to be waterproofed. Sweet. $6,000 I’ll never see again. Does the fun end there? No.
These guys have dug half way to
Anybody need some freelance editing work done?
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Friday, August 18, 2006
She's officially ours. A beagle mix, 6.8 pounds at her first vet visit.
She's only this sweet and good about 10 percent of the time we're home and with her. The rest of the time it's all biting, peeing, pooping and trying to get out of whatever crate/pen we have her in.
She's a lot better now than she was the first week we had her, though. Now she only cries for a couple of minutes when it's time to go to bed at night. The first couple of nights, she was up and howling for an hour.
Friday, July 21, 2006
Several breeders won't return our calls. We're trying to eliminate those that look sketchy, but they're all starting to look sketchy. One has reviews on its Web site that are clearly fake. Most are sending us these weird emails that read like ransom notes. The puppies are being held hostage!
Puggles, are you out there? Any of you want to live with us?
Monday, July 03, 2006
My husband has wanted a dog for as long as we've been married and I just realized this week how much it was bumming him out not to have one. So I've given in. I'm a fantastic wife. I'm understanding and aware of his feelings.
So our swingin' bachelor lifestyle is over. Somebody's got to be home. One of his major arguments is that it will be good for us to gain this responsibility. I guess that's true.
We're looking at puggles. Apparently they have short hair, are good with kids and about medium size. Any thoughts?
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Because if that guy is at every company, I'm not even going to bother looking for another (good) job. I'm just going to look for more music on iTunes to block him out and a good anger-management therapist. There has got to be one company, somewhere in this country, where that guy doesn't work. That guy didn't work at my company until 10 months ago. I was safe. Now that's all crashed down around me. Anybody?
Thursday, June 01, 2006
I think my grandmother’s had a near-death experience.
She’s been sick on and off for more than a year. She had lung surgery to remove some cancer and has been in and out of the hospital since then. This time last week, a doctor was telling us to make sure her affairs were in order and she was laying in intensive care, tubes coming in and out of too many places to count.
And all of the sudden, she was fine. Yesterday, she talked to me (at me is more accurate) for an hour. But what she said was incredible.
First of all, she didn’t have that sick person, hollow look in her eyes. She was in there again, in her own head. And she told me that she talked to God a lot that week, to her dead brothers and mother. And then she told me everything that she owned that she wanted me to have when she does die. Where her will and last testament are. And that in general that she wants just a little more time with all of us. Even my brother, who she admitted she never got along with as well as the rest of us. But she loves us all, she said between huge, streaky tears.
It was seriously the longest talk I’ve had with her since I got married three years ago. Where do people go sometimes, and how do they come back at the snap of their fingers like that?
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
So you’ve had a performance appraisal at work, right? Where you talk about your job, your boss tells you what your goals should be for the next year. Sometimes you get a raise or promotion. Pretty painless, right?
Did your boss ever break down in tears during yours?
Oh, I’m so lucky. She burst into tears because she's stressed out, I’m mean, I tell the truth and I expect more from my co-workers than they’re giving. It brought out the cold in me. I just sat there until she pulled herself together. I can have no compassion. I’m tired of having to see things from her point of view when she could care less about what’s going on in my head.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
How are you supposed to raise a baby these days? My manager has six weeks of maternity leave and then will be returning to work part time. That's barely enough time to introduce yourself and, of course, she'll be losing her seniority at the company by going part time. Her husband doesn't get any time off work. He'll be using his vacation days. Are companies trying to discourage people from having kids?
The creepiest part of this whole thing is that I get a promotion because she's leaving. Could I have any more mixed feelings? I've been studying and shadowing her for about a month now so that I'd be ready when her time came. Her last day was Thursday. When I started taking over stuff on Friday, I was getting a lot of, "Geez, her body's not even cold yet!" Yeah, I couldn't see that coming.
The main question here is why do I have to give up everything that I've worked so hard for if I get pregnant? Or why do I have to become a stranger to my kid if I want to keep my job? Let's just hope I'm totally sick of my job when I get pregnant.
Friday, June 17, 2005
One commercial has a young couple filling their wallet with credit cards, one for each major event in their life. They age something like 40 years in the span of 30 seconds. Give me a break. It's bad enough that my 10 year high school reunion is this weekend.
Another credit card commercial shows a father at his daughter's wedding, seeing her in his mind's eye as a little girl, remembering like it was just yesterday. I didn't feel old on my wedding day, but now I'm feeling it.
And by the way, is there a pattern here? Is the message that you need credit in order to age? That actually makes me want to never get a credit card. Or that when you have a wallet full of credit cards, you've finally hit the plateau of being old?
I think it's because of the baby boom generation.
Old And Proud Of It
There's only one thing on TV that makes me old that I also like. Hit Me Baby One More Time. Poor Howard Jones. It was a shock to see him, battered face, short hair, old. All John Lithgow looking. But c'mon, who doesn't want to hear all that great music? Back when artists actually wrote the songs that came out of their mouths.
Who cares is some of them didn't make sense (everybody Wang Chung tonight. Remind me again--which one is Wang and which one is Chung?) If you're sitting out there thinking, "I never wondered what Tiffany is up to these days," you're just lying to yourself. And it's good to see that Sophie B. Hawkins is just as weird as ever. Of course, singing "100 Years" almost gave me a panic attack, making me think of my little sister, the day she was born and the day last week that she graduated from college.
Tommy Tutone is now is now a software programmer. Oh, what time does to us.
How about The Wedding Singer on Fox tonight? How sad am I that I'm ready to buy this soundtrack? I'm dancing "All Night Long" with Lionel Richie.
Friday, May 27, 2005
The tsunami happened and I made my donation. It was unbelievable to me how people from around the world came together and got things done. Money was liberated from pockets, people got on airplanes, food was delivered, and people were saved. Within days, even hours. We can get things done, when we take action that gets things done.
I love Bono. I love U2. I think that he means well, but what is the deal with this "hold a rally" method of political persuasion? Bono and his Hollywood friends have launched a new website, www.one.org, to fight global AIDS and poverty. And who's not for that? Everybody wants that. My question is, what is this One organization about? What do they do? Because if all they're about is holding protests outside the G8 summit, maybe I'll start my own charity.
Let's face it, Generation X, the generation that is swayed by people like Bono and Brad Pitt, are in office cubicles during the G8 summit. So if you can't get what you want from the American government, if a bunch of teenagers and what Senators think of as jobless radicals isn't working, isn't it time to appeal to me and my yuppie food stamps?
I'm looking for a charity. I'm looking for someone to give my money to--someone that will take action. That will feed hungry people. I know that there is no more important cause out there than world hunger? Will someone organize an actual fight?
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Unfortunately, I have plenty of experience being host to bad neighbors. It seems that people see me in a housing market and direct me towards the crazy people neighborhoods.
Is it really that difficult to be a good neighbor? All you have to do is mind your own business, mind your yard, and leave me alone. Is it really that difficult? Apparently.
So just in case you're not sure how you rate as a neighbor, here are a few thoughts.
How is it that some people are able to convert sweet little (or big) pups into weapons of torture? Dogs. I'm learning to hate dogs, even though the dogs themselves aren't guilty of anything but having stupid owners. Do not leave your dog chained to a stake in your backyard. Do not let your dogs bark all night. Doing either will get your pet dognapped or worse. You know that it happens. You've seen the news stories. Don't pretend that you haven't. And don't blame me when I snap, whip out my blowtorch, unchain your dog from its hell pit, and take it to the Animal Protective League.
I guess I really shouldn't complain about that when the opposite of a chained dog, a free one, is actually worse. If your dog is laying on my lawn when I'm cutting my grass, don't come crying to me if it comes home with a reverse mowhawk.
Do not defile my lawn, in any way. In fact, do not enter my property without an invitation. Do not weed whack my grass and leave it to scorch in the summer sun. Yeah, that really happened. To me. For no reason. I came home one night to find a patch of grass, well over my property line, whacked down shorter than Sinead O'Connor. And our best guess on the culprit has an '85 Mustang rusting away on blocks in his driveway. Stay off my lawn!
And if I can hear your music, it's too loud. If I can hear you, you're too loud. If I can see you, you're too close. OK, maybe that just applies to my current neighbors.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
It’s a miracle that children get named at all these days. A co-worker recently revealed that her birth name was Baby, only because her parents couldn’t decide on a name before they left the hospital. The first name on her birth certificate is indeed Baby.
So many names get eliminated right off the bat. Close relatives should be the first to be eliminated, to avoid offending anyone or a lifetime of confusion at family reunions.
Next, immediate co-workers. We all love our co-workers, but you can’t have any of these people thinking that you’ve named your child after them. Depending on the size of the company you work for, this can be the biggest challenge of all.
Maybe most importantly, all significant others’ names must be excluded. Just the sound of those names can conjure up rage in even the most forgiving. You really should try to spare your children the sight of you foaming at the mouth and snarling at them as you call them down for Sunday morning breakfast.
Of course, you must also eliminate the names of your grade-school nemesis, your high school principal, your freaky freshman year college roommate, and the guy that sold you your car. No wonder there are kids (or at least one kid) out there named Apple.
A name, after all, isn’t just a name. There is an aura around a name and no matter what anyone tells you or what you try to make yourself believe, there is something sacred about a name. There is karma involved. You are what people call you. And whether you’re an Emma or Eleanor, Ryan or Walter, just think about what your parents went through to give you your title in life.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
How do doctors and sperm bank workers plan to enforce this rule? Will there be an application box somewhere that says "gay sex"? And do they expect that anyone will check it, now that it will make him a pariah?
It makes me think of those race boxes on college and job applications. White check here. Hispanic check here. If you want to make them suspicious, check Other. I always feel like I'm making a morality call. I vote for white. White is right. It doesn't feel right. Why does the world constantly have to be broken down into checkboxes?
And what does the FDA have to do with any of this gay sperm stuff? Sperm is neither a food (don't even say it) nor a drug (that's not any better either). Shouldn't this be CDC territory? And if it was, I'd hope their scientists would find a better way to keep patients safe than using some irrelevant determination of who is "healthy."